An Everyday Faith

During my first night in Isaan, I was greeted by ants in my bed. Yes, and in my humanness, I grumbled, and wanted to cry. I was exhausted from the 6 hour drive there, and was just ready to crash...but without the company of ants. By God's grace alone, He pulled me up by my boot straps. so I swept the ants off my bed, put a rather toxic layer of ant spray around my sheets, and prayed that this wouldn't affect me years later. So far, so good :)

And then, there were the mosquitoes. It started feeling a bit like the plagues in Egypt. But where were the frogs to eat the mosquitoes? I remember one of the first days there, I had 10 mosquito bites on my left leg and 9 on my right. My relief: a little something called Tiger Balm. God's gift to Thailand. It's a menthol salve that makes your skin tingle, and provides an AMAZING relief.

I feel like I could go on: worms in the bathroom, cockroaches in the entry way, getting poop flung on you while riding in the back of a truck. Everyday felt like one big challenge. Isaan: the living is just a harder way of life. And my faith was challenged to become an everyday thing.

I have never grown so much as I did when I was in Isaan. I liked the person God was molding in me, even if it felt painful at times. I began to see more of Jesus. He began to increase in my heart and I saw that people were seeing more of Jesus in me and less of myself. And that is always a good thing.

The distractions that I had for the first couple of months were no longer a distraction. My "survival" was my new challenge. God became my only necessary need.

In reality, Isaan was really not that hard. I still had food, and clean water, and running water to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and take a shower. I think the struggle was the different setting and a different way of living. It was more rural, definitely hotter, lots of dirt roads, more likely to get dirty, wifi was not as readily available, I saw no big grocery/superstores. But as the month went on, I realized, I didn't need wifi, and superstores and cleanliness at all times in order to survive. So I got more dirty, and had to deal with feeling sweaty more often, and the mosquitoes ate me alive while I was there, BUT God sustained me each and every day. It reminds me that God is not just enough, but He is more than enough of what we need. And He was, especially in Isaan.

I was no longer dependent on the comforts I had known, but became dependent on God for all things.The new prayer in my heart that sprouted up was, "Jesus, show me my need for you every day. Don't let me go a moment without forgetting that you are all I need." I would like to say that I am totally dependent on God for everything now, but it isn't true. It's still a lesson I'm learning. But my time there served as a good reminder that God wants to change us, to be closer to us, and He is faithful to refocus our hearts on Himself to glorify Himself and to overflow in us so that we can be the hands and feet of Jesus.

The Christian walk is an everyday challenge, and it requires an everyday faith.Whether you're in America or Thailand, it's hard, but our God is bigger than any challenge we could ever face. So let us take up the challenging of living with everyday faith.

The Homesick Missionary

Yes, it happens. To me as well. And it happened to me right after my 3rd month in Thailand. When June came, I found myself missing all the people God had placed in my life back in America.

But I've learned that it's okay to ache for the people you love the most. There's a reason God gives us family and friends- our support system, and to keep us growing. So I've missed my family and desired to see them. And I've learned that you can be both homesick and content where God has placed you. It's true that as Christ-followers, we'll always ache and long for our future home with the Lord, our true place of belonging. So feeling homesick or misplaced isn't such a bad thing. It's natural.

But being homesick has taught me so much about myself. Coming here, I thought as a person who is more of an introvert (who recharges more easily when I can rest alone) that I would need more time by myself. But I've discovered that when I'm by myself too much, I get lonely, and depressed. No man really is an island. We need community. Sure, I do still need some time by myself to recharge each day, but it's not as much time as I thought, and I find I'm most edified when I'm with others, in community.

So for the future, one of my prayer requests is that God would provide a ministry partner- another gal around my age that I can work alongside in ministry. And one that I would work well with- that we would build each other up in the Lord and challenge each other in our walks with God and ministry, and in our love to the people we serve. And for someone who has a similar sense of humor- because laughter is such good medicine, especially when you live in a different culture where it's easy to get confused, and to feel depressed at times.

While it may be a while until I return to the mission field, I still ask for prayer for the future, and for the team and people I will join and work with. And I can say this...I am excited to see how God provides, and the different personalities He puts together. Because God has a great sense of humor as well :)

A Pause in July

I sent out an email in early July, but realized I forgot to post this on the blog. For most of July I will have limited internet connectivity because I will be in a more rural part of Thailand (the Isaan area, as they call it). I will update the blog again at the beginning of August. With the limited internet I have (and limited internet knowledge that I've gained while here), I've been posting some photos of the Isaan on facebook. If you're on facebook, please check them out! Thank you for your patience and continued prayers :)

Blessings and love to each of you,
Faith

Relationships and the Opposite Gender

One of the biggest things I'm learning about here is relationships. Between myself and other women, between myself and men, between myself and other missionaries. It's all just...tough. Navigating boundaries, and letting yourself be vulnerable so God can work in you and through you. Opening yourself up to be more effective for the team, rather than setting up walls and closing down.

I recently had to have a conversation with a guy I'll be working alongside in the near future (we'll call him, Josh). And yes he's single (I know what you're all thinking, so STOP). I think as a single guy out in missions, you feel like a piece of meat being thrown out to dogs, or chicken feed being thrown to a bunch of single, female, rooster-seeking hens. It's a scary world for these single men! So many women to so few men. I think they're aware that you have to be ultra careful when interacting with single women. Who knows: one small question and you could end up engaged. But I definitely understand this carefulness, and applaud the men that seek to protect and honor the single women they interact with. But, sometimes, throughout the previous mission trips I've gone on, this carefulness leads to a less than satisfactory team effort. In fact, I've felt oceans apart from many of the single men that I would have liked to have counted as friends because they worried I might jump them at any second.

So with Josh, I wanted this to be different. I may be working alongside him for up to 3 months, and I didn't want those 3 months to be filled with us avoiding and ignoring each other because we felt too uncomfortable to interact. So I prayed about it, and had some close friends/family back home pray about it as well. And I sought the Lord to provide an opportunity to talk with Josh about this. And God so faithfully provided that opportunity. Just because God provided, doesn't mean I wasn't shaking in my flip flops about it. I was so nervous, and had no idea where to start. I mean, how awkward is a conversation that's started with the words, "So you're a guy, and I'm a girl..." I don't think Josh knew what he was in for, but he handled it well.

I was fully aware before talking with him that he could shut down at any moment, and say, "let's just try to get through the next few months," meaning, I don't really want to make any effort to be friends with you because it's just too uncomfortable and awkward. And honestly, I probably wouldn't have blamed him for it- relationships, specifically girl-guy friendships, are crazy, hard work. But Josh didn't say this at all. It was God's grace. In fact, Josh was relieved, just like me, to know that we laid all our insecurities out on the table beforehand, and both realized what we were getting into. And despite that, we wanted to work on a team as friends, to glorify God and serve Him here in Thailand (communication really is key!). I can't tell you how thankful I felt to the Lord after that conversation. Is it still "awkward" around him? Sure! I'm a girl, and he's a guy, and there's bound to be many awkward moments- especially because we come from the opposite gender, different backgrounds, and different cultures in America. But I'm fighter, and I'm going to keep fighting for this friendship, and trusting and surrendering it daily to the Lord. Because I think this is something Satan has stripped the Body of Christ of, these healthy male-female friendships.

It's interesting, I don't think I ever heard about how to develop good friendships with guys as a teen. It's just not a topic discussed in the Christian community. I think immediately when you turn 14 or 15, the whole topic of dating unravels, and the whole purity, true love waits, and don't-have-sex-period spiel begins. That's great and all, but what about the rest of us that weren't ready to date, that felt left hanging, and wanted to be friends with the guys they played hide-and-seek with in elementary school. It's like all the guys became completely aware that I was a girl, and might be interested in them just because they were a guy.

I wish so badly for the teens of today to know how to protect each other's hearts and honor each other while also being able to remain friends. But the problem is, we don't really know how to protect our own hearts in the first place. If we don't know how to protect our own, then we won't know how to protect others, will we?

I won't give you a sermon on this, but I do request your prayers. Not only is this a problem in the States, but around the world, and in Thailand as well- this "protecting hearts" and "being friends with the opposite gender" type topics. I really think the answer is PRAYER. So, I ask for your prayers in regards to my friendship with Josh, and in regards to modeling a healthy girl-guy friendship to the Thai people. It's a definite issue, but our God is all about relationships because He's a relational God. Our number one relationship starts with Him, and when we ask Him, He is faithful to provide and gracious to supply us with all we need in our relationships with other humans. So please, as you pray, pray for healthy friendships, among the Thais, as well as among the missionaries.

Prayer Requests:
1. For the friendships among university students (I'll be working with these students in a month!)- for healthy girl/guy friendships
2. For my friendship with Josh and other single men I come in contact with- that we would model healthy, girl-guy friendships to the Thai's. I really think this is SO important in any culture.
3. For the youth in our own cultures- that we would educate them in Biblical friendships, and that they would learn to guard their hearts, protect each other's hearts, and honor one another in their friendships.

A Prayer Request

After talking with several people while here- it was recommended that I ask for prayer as I continue to seek the Lord and His plans, not only for Thailand, but for my life as well. I'll be honest that I feeling a little selfish by asking for prayer for my life, but I'm beginning to see the importance of this and ask out of humility. Please be praying that God would show me a ministry that He's created me for and that I have a passion for serving in.

Initially I came to Thailand wanting to do children and family camps, but there's not exactly a need for that here. So the search begins again for what I should look into doing.

Please pray that God would give me a solid sense of His plan and a future ministry He has created me to participate in. That He would make it clear and that things would begin to take shape (even if it's just very premature). And lastly, that He would give me a peace about it all. I'm really trying to make the most of my time here in Thailand. After I come back to the States, it'll be a little while until I make it back. While I'm here, I'd like to get a realistic picture of what ministry I could be a part of in the future, as well as know if there's something I need to get further training for back in the States, in order to serve better the people of Asia.

Many thanks for your continued prayers and support in this as we serve the Thai people together. You all have been such an encouragement to me! Blessings and love, Faith

French Fries and Inadequacies

Group of students at the Youth House in Lopburi

August to September I'll be helping with a ministry in Lopburi that works with youth/university age students. Some of those who come to this "youth house" are Christian, and some are not, but all are there to have a good time and build relationships. Recently, the students' new school term began (the schedule works a little different here than in the West), so there was a youth party at the youth house here in Lopburi, and a bunch of us were invited to come. I came praying, asking the Lord if this was really what I should be doing (youth ministry!?!), or if it was just an unrealistic thought I had a month ago.

When I first came in, I doubted. My thoughts were, "How little Thai I know! Maybe I shouldn't be doing this kind of ministry while I'm here? I'm going to fall flat on my face! And what on earth could I contribute?"

So I go and sit down with another Serve Asia short termer, and we smile with guarded confusion. As I sit there, I'm overwhelmed by my own inadequacies and by a desire to want to know the Thai students sitting around me, but not really being sure where to start, or if there's even a chance to start. So I sit, taking it all in, admittedly a little overwhelmed, while being thankful for the chance to be there and observe.

And then, it happens. An open door. One of the Thai girls, calls out across the room, "Faith!" and motions me to come over. So I do, with a courage not my own, but with the heart of someone who wants more than just to sit overwhelmed in the corner. So I come over, and she explains, "Some of these girls want to speak English with you. They're learning at University and would like to talk. They're just too shy to speak." I understand, so am I. But God just opened a door, and I'd be a fool to go back and sit down from where I just came from. So I squeeze myself into their little circle and eat a french fry off the plate they're sharing. And so begins our talk...for most of the night. We talked about everything from our university studies to the infamous topic of "boyfriends." And we laughed a LOT! Most of it at the confusion of my barely knowing any Thai, and their choppy English, but God knit together hearts right there on that floor between bites of french fry.

At one point during the night, one of the girls asks me, "So what are you good at?" And it got me thinking. Wow. Good question. I'm really good at being inadequate. At making a fool of myself. At being slower than most, and goofy when I shouldn't be. At being quiet when I should be talking, and at talking when I should be quiet. At not trusting God enough to know that He would answer my prayer to be sitting and chatting right there with all of them, like we had known each other for years. But I've learned that despite everything, I'm really good at being willing. I'm willing to be goofy, if it brings people in, makes them feel comfortable and lets them trust me even a little. I'm willing to try new things, and to walk across the room when I'm called. And I'm willing to follow God...especially because I know how inadequate I am.

So there was my answer for the night. Despite being really good at being inadequate, God wanted me there. Despite my doubts about being involved in this ministry in August and September, I'm willing to try new things, and God was willing to make up for my inadequacies. And I'm willing to stop doubting and give it all to the God who holds all of it in His hands. At the end of the night, one of the gals asks me, "Do you know how to bake?" "Yes! Sort of. I know how to bake chocolate chip cookies." But just mostly cookies (Does this ring a bell for those of you who have read the blog post about homeschooling? I like my cookies! haha). And she says, "Well, you'll teach the girls how to bake chocolate chip cookies then!" Alright! My first assignment in August. I'll let you know how it goes...it should be interesting and definitely blog-post worthy :)

Youth House and Ministry Prayer Requests:
1. Workers- Noon, Au, and Phil- continued prayer for each of them as they continue to reach out to students on campus; for open hearts and open doors
2. For the students that come to the "youth house"- that they would see a difference in Noon, Au, and Phil, and want the Jesus that shines through in their lives
3. My inadequacies- I would continue to seek God and rely on Him for the many things I'm just inadequate at doing; for my Thai that it would increase during the month of July, and that God would prepare me for this ministry in August

Catching Up: A Recap of June

June has been a crazy month. One of constant transitions. The last time I posted was in late May, and now it's already beginning of July. I wanted to give you all a recap of what took place this last month.

End of May, I took part in childcare at a missionary conference up in Chiang Mai, Thailand. It was wonderful, and exhausting at the same time. The kid's were exhausting. But I got some diaper practice in, and feel completely ready in case a baby army comes and needs their diapers changed (I just need lots of wipes!). The amazing part was serving on the childcare team with people from 9 other countries. I loved it! I think it's wonderful discovering the fact that I'm such a small part of the body of Christ, and I have so many brothers/sisters from around the world. Exciting! Their are pictures below of the team's of time together (I apologize, we aren't allowed to post any pictures from the actual conference because most of the missionaries at the conference are from Communist countries in Asia and the missionaries would be at risk if I showed pictures of themselves or their children).

After the conference, I headed back to Lopburi in Central Thailand to finish up homeschooling. There is a separate blog about this ("The Funny Moments of a Homeschool Teacher"). I'll definitely miss my time in Lopburi, but I'm also ready to move on and see more ministry in Thailand as I pray about coming back long term.  Please pray for the Mayer family as they eagerly await their next homeschool teacher, who will come from Canada in August. Pray for this new teacher, and that God would give her smooth transition to Lopburi life, and Thai culture. 

Then, end of June, I participated in a second missionary conference for missionaries specifically in Thailand. Again it was a wonderful time of serving, and again many dirty diapers (I wish there was a University degree out there called "Diaper Duty"- I would totally pass it!). Unfortunately I got sick at the end of this conference, but I think it's God way of slowing me down, and refocusing this time on Him again. Thankful for that reminder, and the ability to rest and refresh.

Currently, I'm in Nakhon Sawan, another city in Central Thailand, with two missionaries who are involved in student ministry. I'll get a chance to see some student ministry here, while also getting some time to just rest and get over my head-cold. I'll be here just a few days before heading back to Bangkok (the capital city of Thailand) to meet up with another short termer, L. L and I will then head to the northeast part of Thailand, called Isaan, to be involved in church-planting there. 

Prayer Requests:

1. For the missionaries at both conferences- that the Lord would continue to fill and refresh them as they go back to life in their respective countries; pray for strength and endurance as they love on the people around them

2. For the children of the missionaries as they head back "home" as well- for smooth transition, and for lasting friendships from the conferences

3. For the new homeschool teacher that's coming to the Mayer family in August.

4. Pray for the student ministry missionaries here in Thailand. For M and J as they serve in Nakhon Sawan and love the Thai students here.

5. For L and myself as we head to northeast Thailand to the "Isaan" area- I'm really excited to see all that the Lord is doing in this area; please pray we would be a huge help to the missionaries there

Part of our childcare team for the Chiang Mai Conference- Over 9 nationalities were represented! God is so good :)

Elephant Kisses- we got to explore an Elephant park while up in  Chiang Mai!

The Isaan area- in Northeast Thailand (a beautiful, rural part of Thailand!)