French Fries and Inadequacies

Group of students at the Youth House in Lopburi

August to September I'll be helping with a ministry in Lopburi that works with youth/university age students. Some of those who come to this "youth house" are Christian, and some are not, but all are there to have a good time and build relationships. Recently, the students' new school term began (the schedule works a little different here than in the West), so there was a youth party at the youth house here in Lopburi, and a bunch of us were invited to come. I came praying, asking the Lord if this was really what I should be doing (youth ministry!?!), or if it was just an unrealistic thought I had a month ago.

When I first came in, I doubted. My thoughts were, "How little Thai I know! Maybe I shouldn't be doing this kind of ministry while I'm here? I'm going to fall flat on my face! And what on earth could I contribute?"

So I go and sit down with another Serve Asia short termer, and we smile with guarded confusion. As I sit there, I'm overwhelmed by my own inadequacies and by a desire to want to know the Thai students sitting around me, but not really being sure where to start, or if there's even a chance to start. So I sit, taking it all in, admittedly a little overwhelmed, while being thankful for the chance to be there and observe.

And then, it happens. An open door. One of the Thai girls, calls out across the room, "Faith!" and motions me to come over. So I do, with a courage not my own, but with the heart of someone who wants more than just to sit overwhelmed in the corner. So I come over, and she explains, "Some of these girls want to speak English with you. They're learning at University and would like to talk. They're just too shy to speak." I understand, so am I. But God just opened a door, and I'd be a fool to go back and sit down from where I just came from. So I squeeze myself into their little circle and eat a french fry off the plate they're sharing. And so begins our talk...for most of the night. We talked about everything from our university studies to the infamous topic of "boyfriends." And we laughed a LOT! Most of it at the confusion of my barely knowing any Thai, and their choppy English, but God knit together hearts right there on that floor between bites of french fry.

At one point during the night, one of the girls asks me, "So what are you good at?" And it got me thinking. Wow. Good question. I'm really good at being inadequate. At making a fool of myself. At being slower than most, and goofy when I shouldn't be. At being quiet when I should be talking, and at talking when I should be quiet. At not trusting God enough to know that He would answer my prayer to be sitting and chatting right there with all of them, like we had known each other for years. But I've learned that despite everything, I'm really good at being willing. I'm willing to be goofy, if it brings people in, makes them feel comfortable and lets them trust me even a little. I'm willing to try new things, and to walk across the room when I'm called. And I'm willing to follow God...especially because I know how inadequate I am.

So there was my answer for the night. Despite being really good at being inadequate, God wanted me there. Despite my doubts about being involved in this ministry in August and September, I'm willing to try new things, and God was willing to make up for my inadequacies. And I'm willing to stop doubting and give it all to the God who holds all of it in His hands. At the end of the night, one of the gals asks me, "Do you know how to bake?" "Yes! Sort of. I know how to bake chocolate chip cookies." But just mostly cookies (Does this ring a bell for those of you who have read the blog post about homeschooling? I like my cookies! haha). And she says, "Well, you'll teach the girls how to bake chocolate chip cookies then!" Alright! My first assignment in August. I'll let you know how it goes...it should be interesting and definitely blog-post worthy :)

Youth House and Ministry Prayer Requests:
1. Workers- Noon, Au, and Phil- continued prayer for each of them as they continue to reach out to students on campus; for open hearts and open doors
2. For the students that come to the "youth house"- that they would see a difference in Noon, Au, and Phil, and want the Jesus that shines through in their lives
3. My inadequacies- I would continue to seek God and rely on Him for the many things I'm just inadequate at doing; for my Thai that it would increase during the month of July, and that God would prepare me for this ministry in August