Next Steps

While on this trip, two questions were answered for me that I (and many others) had been praying for.

The first question: Where, as in what country, is God guiding you towards for the future? I'm not sure I can ever answer that with 100% certainty (because sometimes political situations can change in a country), but I can clearly see that God has specifically planted Thailand in my heart for a reason. Having said that, it means that Lord willing, I'll be looking to go back to Thailand within the next couple years.

The second question: In what capacity will you be used overseas when you go long term? My hope is to look into Student (University) Ministry or Church Planting with some focus on Youth Ministry- I can see how the Lord has planted this specific passion in my heart for His glory. But... I'm also always open to trying out new ministries in the future as well- needs often change and new and creative ideas/ministries take root in missions.

Next Steps: While I have a goal now to go back to Thailand, it may be a couple of years. I still have college loans to pay off. My goal, fully surrendered to God, is to go back within 5-6 years. So while I'm in the States, I'm looking for full time work. Please pray with me as I apply to different jobs. Please also be praying that God would continue to make me more like Christ in every way- for continued love for the Thai people, for joy on the journey, peace in all circumstances, obedience and trust in the hard and scary things, and wisdom for making decisions for the future. Don't be afraid to pray for humility too ;) That's always essential for missions! haha :) And lastly, please pray for a female ministry partner(s) for the future. I've found out that I need to live with and do ministry with another person; it holds me accountable and keeps me from getting lonely. Please keep praying!

I look forward to seeing all of you again...and getting a chance to hug all of you as well! Thank you again for walking alongside me on this trip. It has been a blessing and joy to share with you in serving Christ through loving the Thai people :)

"Through Christ, God has given us this great privilege and authority as apostles to tell people everywhere what God has done for them, so that they will believe and obey him, bringing glory to His name."

-Romans 1:5

To God be all glory, honor, and praise!

The Taxi Driver and the Straw

This is a short story of another way God was growing in me a love for the Thai people, even the day I was leaving to come back to America.

The day I flew out, my taxi driver was set to pick me up at 6:45am. He arrived, and out stepped this little Thai man, who was probably between 65-70, about 5', and probably weighed less than 110 pounds. He was SO cute!! He picked up my bags (which were almost bigger than him) and hoisted them into the trunk. With the language barrier, we didn't really talk, but we exchanged smiles.

So, I had gotten a bad head cold two days prior, and thus had packed tissues for an army while we drove to the airport. I had been blowing my brains out for the first 20 minutes, fearful to even look at him because I know how Thai's are about health (they wear those health masks when they have a cold and I had no mask!). And I was praying he wasn't flinching most of the way. After I took a brief break from my blowing, I began to gulp down my Nalgene bottle (one of the big ones!).

Only the Lord knows I'm the sentimental type and would treasure this moment for years to come. As I was gulping down my Nalgene bottle, the taxi driver finally spoke up. And he was scolding me! He handed me a straw, and watched to make sure I'd use it (we were stuck in traffic, so he had time). You see, Thai's don't understand why foreigners gulp out of bottles or cups, instead of using straws. They always use straws for their cold drinks, and you're always given one at restaurants and convenience stores. So I stuck the straw in the bottle and for the next 10 minutes, like a chastised little girl, sipped this big Nalgene bottle with a straw. Every now and then I would look over at him and smile. I had only known this man for 30 minutes, but I was brimming with love for him. Though it was a bittersweet day for me, I felt so much joy and love for the Thai people as I flew out that morning. Can you see why Thai's are so adorable?!

Please be praying for this man, along with the rest of the Thai people. Pray that since he is older, that he would see the emptiness of his life-long "good" works, and would want Christ, who is the righteousness we need.

When Your Heart Becomes a Home

The heart is a strange thing. It often feels what I don't want it to feel, and doesn't feel what I wish it would. But I can tell you that each day I surrender my heart to God, He is faithful to lead and direct it, to hold it, to care for it, and to sustain it. And I'm so thankful to Him for that.

Why am I talking about the heart...again? Because when I first got to Thailand, my heart didn't really like Thailand (I'm just trying to be honest here). There was nothing about Thailand that drew me in. The city that I was settled in the first three months didn't appeal to me at all. It was flat, concrete, weird smells, unidentified fruits at the market, unidentified feces on the ground...you get the point. But God was so good- I'm not sure where this idea started, but all of you began to pray that God would give me a love for the people. And the strangest thing happened.

And you know, you hear it talked about, about how God can move a heart, change it...but it came softly...that love for the people. It started with my house cleaner- she wouldn't leave me alone. But, secretly, I didn't want her to leave me alone anyway ;) She would come in every other morning, singing these crazy Thai songs as she cleaned the bathroom, and then with the little English she spoke, introduced me to her family through pictures on her phone. I didn't even know who her mother was, but she made me feel like I had known her for years, like I was family. She was my first interaction with these beautiful people. And little by little, God started acquainting me more with the Thai's.

Everyday I began finding new things that I enjoyed about being with the Thai people. Their silly smiles, their hearty laughs, and don't you know they smell SO good!! I couldn't stop taking it in. I really began to enjoy being with these people. So many times I didn't understand what they were saying, but I understood a laugh, a smile, a hug, a squeeze of the arm. More and more I liked these Thai people.

Side note. Let's take off the rose-colored glasses for a second. Yes, there were things I didn't like- cultural differences, being taken advantage of as a foreigner, and the always looming idea that I could meet a poisonous snake and not survive to tell the tale. But in seriousness, over time the cultural differences became part of life, and for every Thai person who might have taken advantage of me in a sale, there were 10 others loving on me elsewhere. That's our world- whether you're in America, or Russia, or Thailand- you're interacting with humans.

So this like that had made it's way into my heart...I didn't realize it, until I was in Walmart the other day unintentionally looking for a Thai person (trust me, there is probably a population of 3 Thai people in our area), and didn't see a single one, and I wanted to cry. I realized I no longer liked the Thai people...I love them. Since I came back, I have dreamt every night of these beautiful people- students, house cleaners, restaurant owners, youth workers, teachers, shop keepers- people that I met day in and day out in Thailand. They've been tucked away deep inside my heart, in a portion assigned "The Thai People." And I have this feeling that it's permanent. Because unlike other trips I've gone on where in the first week I've been relieved to come home, and everyday I begin to forget the faces, I can't shake these people- everyday I remember them as if I just saw them yesterday. They've already found a home in my heart. And I praise God for giving me this love that I couldn't have ever conjured on my own.

A Recap of August/September

The ministry in August/September was based around a youth house in Lopburi, where two Christian Thai women, N and I, live upstairs and invite students to come, hang out, and chat/speak English downstairs. Our team consisted of Sam and Lizzie (two short-termers from the UK) as well as P (our team leader and student worker in Lopburi) N, I, and myself.

Recap of August/September (Student Ministry in Lopburi, Thailand):
- 2 English Camps- where we had the chance to spend time with the students through speaking English and building relationships (went to a zoo, a buffalo park, an elephant park, and several "museum" type areas)
- Teaching English in a 1st year class at the university
- Teaching Music through speaking English on Tuesdays
- Youth Club on Wednesdays- we baked pizza, pancakes, and a Thai sweet in the afternoons with the students for each week we were there
- Cell Group on Thursdays- consisted of a couple group games and a Bible lesson
- Retirement Home- to visit with the elderly in Lopburi- it was awesome!
- Speaking English with students at the Youth House in Lopburi
- Time to build relationships with the students in between each of these things in the youth house and in Lopburi
- And I'm sure I left some things out! They kept us busy, but it was great!

Although I came back to the States, these ministries are still going on- please continue praying for the missionaries, as well as the Thai Christians, and those who still have yet to accept Christ. Thank you for your prayers!

Prayer Requests:
- N and I (Christian Thai ladies)- as they continue serving in the youth house in Lopburi; for their futures as they continue seeking if God would have them elsewhere or still serving in Lopburi
- P (our team leader)- as he continues teaching at the university and serving at the youth house; for his language studies and seminary studies
- Sam and Lizzie- as they re-acclimate to UK culture, and start up university in October; for their futures as they both look into missions
- Students- there are several students who have expressed an interest in the Gospel, please pray for students and teachers alike to take interest; pray for fertile soil and for a desire to read and hear the Word of God
- Thai Christian students- many of them face opposition from their families; strength and endurance to keep seeking God and standing up for their faith with gentleness and love

The 2nd English Camp- touring a zoo together

Students visiting a retirement home- we had a great time! :) 

More Internet Hiccups/August Prayer Requests

For most of August, I will again have limited internet. I apologize for the lateness in my emails, but thank you for your patience, and continued support :)

Please be praying for the student ministry that I'll be involved in this month. And please be praying for the other short termers I'll be serving alongside, as well as our team leader, "P." Please pray strength and stamina for all of us, as well as open hearts and doors in building relationships with the university students in Lopburi. Please also pray for a good team dynamic, and that we would keep our hearts focused on God, as well as edify and encourage one another. Please also pray for two amazing Thai ladies that work at the university student/youth house in Lopburi. Their names are "N" and "I." Please pray for open doors for them, as well as perseverance and new friendships.

I pray God's surpassing peace for you all during August and look forward to connecting with you through blogs again in September. Thank you all again for your prayers, support, and encouragement during my time here. I couldn't do any of this without all of you.

Blessings and love, Faith

Loving Those in Front of You

A peek into what I've been thinking about lately:

When you serve people in another country, such as Thailand, it's often easy to love the people here because they not only look different than you, but there's also this expectation that because they live in a different culture, they will also act different. Expectations coming in to work with them are usually pretty gracious...usually.

But let me ask you this, what about loving the people in front of you? I mean people like your co-workers, your boss, the man/woman who just swerved in front of your lane as you were driving, or that "annoying" family member that always seems to grate on your nerves. Oh yes, those people :)

I'm going to be honest with all of you. Before I left for Thailand, I had a job where I struggled to love several of my female co-workers. Women who should know better than to act the way they do, who pick out people and treat them cruelly because it makes themselves feel better. The kind of women that are bitter and vengeful.

And do you want to know the most terrible thing about this situation: I worked this job for 3 years, and realized last Fall that I had never learned to love them. Ever. And I knew then, that I had been sinning against God for secretly hating them, He who created them.

And as I was applying to go on this short term trip, I realized that this needed to change. How was I ever going to love the Thai people who I had never even met, if I hadn't learned to love the people I worked with every day. I would just be exchanging one set of personalities and problems for another. And so I asked God to change my heart, and for help in treating them with love. They became my "unreached people group" that needed to be reached.

And I'll admit, it was hard. Because most times I wanted to tell them off and put them in their place. But a verse I learned in my first year at university always came to mind, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1)."

These women that I tried to love for the 5 months before I left for Thailand never did accept the love I kept offering. In fact for one woman, it made her more angry, and for another she made fun of the way I was treating her. It was like a kick to the gut and very degrading. But also humbling. And I'm still learning to love them- even while I'm over here. I know I don't pray enough for them, and so I need God to remind me each day and to supply me with a love for them. Even when I'm miles away from them.

I think it's the same way in missions. Part of being a missionary is getting use to the idea of being rejected. Because not all people are going to accept Christ. But loving people despite this rejection is so important. Without realizing it, I think God has been blessing me with a taste of this "rejection" back home in this job, readying me for missions. It doesn't mean being "rejected" will get easier, but it does mean that loving people should begin meaning more to me.

I was reading in 1 Corinthians 13 and stopped at the beginning of verse 4, "Love is patient." Patience is a willingness to bear despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity. You can't be patient, unless it's a difficult situation that requires a willingness to bear (no matter the length of time). I want to love the people God puts in front of me, even the "not-so-loveable ones," but that means I need to learn patience as well. I want to willingly bear, even if it's hard, because I know love is the goal. And God is love, and I want more of God. He's worth it all.

So, my challenge to all of us, that we would all learn together to love the people in front of us- the creepy, the grumpy, the annoying, the smelly, the crazy, the scary, the overwhelming, the bitter, the hard-hearted- because our God, who is Love, calls us to something greater in this world...to love.

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." - 1 John 4:8

So come on...be a little crazy and love people with me :)

A Recap of July: Life in Isaan

Most of the time in July was spent in Isaan, the northeast part of Thailand. It's more rural and definitely poorer than some of the other parts of Thailand. And I think it has more mosquitoes too :)

During my time in Isaan, my ministry partner, Laila, and I shadowed the missionaries as they went around. We were also joined by two Australians, who added the right amount of fun and enthusiasm to keep us going when we were busy and tired. It was a blessing to have such a compatible group. We were able to encourage and edify each other in the Lord without reservation. A beautiful picture of the body of Christ working together with various talents and abilities. 

We were able to get involved in Bible teaching at an elementary school on Fridays, where we went into 3 different classrooms to sing Christian songs, act out a Bible story, play a few games, and then start a craft. Working with Thai children was such a joy! And the twinkle in their eyes when things are "sah-nook maak," or "a lot of fun" was a blessing to see.

We were also able to get involved with an English club on Thursdays as we taught middle and high school students about the human body, directions and locations, as well as food. Then on Friday evenings we had youth club which gave us time to interact more personally with the youth in Isaan, as well as to start building relationships with them. I have never had my photo taken so much in my life and with so many poses! I don't think I will ever take pictures the same way again :)

The rest of the week we had opportunities to go with one of the missionaries, "S," into villages around the area where we lived, where S did open evangelism. He would start off by taking out his guitar and just sitting down and singing (which Thai's love!! And they have such beautiful voices). Then S would share a story from the Gospel, and ask questions to the people who had come to listen. He would then pose the people with a question at the end that might challenge them to think further about Jesus and His love for them. This was a very cool thing to see, but I have to admit, as we were sitting there, I was amazed at S's ability to share so openly and willingly. After asking him about his boldness in sharing Christ, he said it's something that comes with practice, time, and a whole lot of prayer. Coming and sharing with love and gentleness is so key and leaving it open to them as to whether they have more questions is important. 

My overall time in Isaan was growing for me. I had never seen so much "front-line" type mission work, but it was exciting to see new and creative ways of loving and serving people in Thailand.Very thankful for the time that I was there.

Prayer Requests

1. For missionaries in Isaan- there are very few people coming to know Jesus in Isaan- it's been a slow process; this can be tough anywhere someone is serving in missions; pray for encouragement, strength, and patience as the missionaries try new and creative ways of serving the people

2. For the people in Isaan- that God would soften the hearts of the people to be open to hearing His Word

3. For more missionaries out in Isaan- because Isaan is so far from Bangkok, it can seem a lonely place to be; pray for more missionaries who have a heart for the people of Isaan and willingness to go and live "harder"

4. For S and his wife and family- protection and overall health as they serve God in Isaan; also that God would encourage and show them signs of people accepting His Word

An Everyday Faith

During my first night in Isaan, I was greeted by ants in my bed. Yes, and in my humanness, I grumbled, and wanted to cry. I was exhausted from the 6 hour drive there, and was just ready to crash...but without the company of ants. By God's grace alone, He pulled me up by my boot straps. so I swept the ants off my bed, put a rather toxic layer of ant spray around my sheets, and prayed that this wouldn't affect me years later. So far, so good :)

And then, there were the mosquitoes. It started feeling a bit like the plagues in Egypt. But where were the frogs to eat the mosquitoes? I remember one of the first days there, I had 10 mosquito bites on my left leg and 9 on my right. My relief: a little something called Tiger Balm. God's gift to Thailand. It's a menthol salve that makes your skin tingle, and provides an AMAZING relief.

I feel like I could go on: worms in the bathroom, cockroaches in the entry way, getting poop flung on you while riding in the back of a truck. Everyday felt like one big challenge. Isaan: the living is just a harder way of life. And my faith was challenged to become an everyday thing.

I have never grown so much as I did when I was in Isaan. I liked the person God was molding in me, even if it felt painful at times. I began to see more of Jesus. He began to increase in my heart and I saw that people were seeing more of Jesus in me and less of myself. And that is always a good thing.

The distractions that I had for the first couple of months were no longer a distraction. My "survival" was my new challenge. God became my only necessary need.

In reality, Isaan was really not that hard. I still had food, and clean water, and running water to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and take a shower. I think the struggle was the different setting and a different way of living. It was more rural, definitely hotter, lots of dirt roads, more likely to get dirty, wifi was not as readily available, I saw no big grocery/superstores. But as the month went on, I realized, I didn't need wifi, and superstores and cleanliness at all times in order to survive. So I got more dirty, and had to deal with feeling sweaty more often, and the mosquitoes ate me alive while I was there, BUT God sustained me each and every day. It reminds me that God is not just enough, but He is more than enough of what we need. And He was, especially in Isaan.

I was no longer dependent on the comforts I had known, but became dependent on God for all things.The new prayer in my heart that sprouted up was, "Jesus, show me my need for you every day. Don't let me go a moment without forgetting that you are all I need." I would like to say that I am totally dependent on God for everything now, but it isn't true. It's still a lesson I'm learning. But my time there served as a good reminder that God wants to change us, to be closer to us, and He is faithful to refocus our hearts on Himself to glorify Himself and to overflow in us so that we can be the hands and feet of Jesus.

The Christian walk is an everyday challenge, and it requires an everyday faith.Whether you're in America or Thailand, it's hard, but our God is bigger than any challenge we could ever face. So let us take up the challenging of living with everyday faith.

The Homesick Missionary

Yes, it happens. To me as well. And it happened to me right after my 3rd month in Thailand. When June came, I found myself missing all the people God had placed in my life back in America.

But I've learned that it's okay to ache for the people you love the most. There's a reason God gives us family and friends- our support system, and to keep us growing. So I've missed my family and desired to see them. And I've learned that you can be both homesick and content where God has placed you. It's true that as Christ-followers, we'll always ache and long for our future home with the Lord, our true place of belonging. So feeling homesick or misplaced isn't such a bad thing. It's natural.

But being homesick has taught me so much about myself. Coming here, I thought as a person who is more of an introvert (who recharges more easily when I can rest alone) that I would need more time by myself. But I've discovered that when I'm by myself too much, I get lonely, and depressed. No man really is an island. We need community. Sure, I do still need some time by myself to recharge each day, but it's not as much time as I thought, and I find I'm most edified when I'm with others, in community.

So for the future, one of my prayer requests is that God would provide a ministry partner- another gal around my age that I can work alongside in ministry. And one that I would work well with- that we would build each other up in the Lord and challenge each other in our walks with God and ministry, and in our love to the people we serve. And for someone who has a similar sense of humor- because laughter is such good medicine, especially when you live in a different culture where it's easy to get confused, and to feel depressed at times.

While it may be a while until I return to the mission field, I still ask for prayer for the future, and for the team and people I will join and work with. And I can say this...I am excited to see how God provides, and the different personalities He puts together. Because God has a great sense of humor as well :)

A Pause in July

I sent out an email in early July, but realized I forgot to post this on the blog. For most of July I will have limited internet connectivity because I will be in a more rural part of Thailand (the Isaan area, as they call it). I will update the blog again at the beginning of August. With the limited internet I have (and limited internet knowledge that I've gained while here), I've been posting some photos of the Isaan on facebook. If you're on facebook, please check them out! Thank you for your patience and continued prayers :)

Blessings and love to each of you,
Faith

Relationships and the Opposite Gender

One of the biggest things I'm learning about here is relationships. Between myself and other women, between myself and men, between myself and other missionaries. It's all just...tough. Navigating boundaries, and letting yourself be vulnerable so God can work in you and through you. Opening yourself up to be more effective for the team, rather than setting up walls and closing down.

I recently had to have a conversation with a guy I'll be working alongside in the near future (we'll call him, Josh). And yes he's single (I know what you're all thinking, so STOP). I think as a single guy out in missions, you feel like a piece of meat being thrown out to dogs, or chicken feed being thrown to a bunch of single, female, rooster-seeking hens. It's a scary world for these single men! So many women to so few men. I think they're aware that you have to be ultra careful when interacting with single women. Who knows: one small question and you could end up engaged. But I definitely understand this carefulness, and applaud the men that seek to protect and honor the single women they interact with. But, sometimes, throughout the previous mission trips I've gone on, this carefulness leads to a less than satisfactory team effort. In fact, I've felt oceans apart from many of the single men that I would have liked to have counted as friends because they worried I might jump them at any second.

So with Josh, I wanted this to be different. I may be working alongside him for up to 3 months, and I didn't want those 3 months to be filled with us avoiding and ignoring each other because we felt too uncomfortable to interact. So I prayed about it, and had some close friends/family back home pray about it as well. And I sought the Lord to provide an opportunity to talk with Josh about this. And God so faithfully provided that opportunity. Just because God provided, doesn't mean I wasn't shaking in my flip flops about it. I was so nervous, and had no idea where to start. I mean, how awkward is a conversation that's started with the words, "So you're a guy, and I'm a girl..." I don't think Josh knew what he was in for, but he handled it well.

I was fully aware before talking with him that he could shut down at any moment, and say, "let's just try to get through the next few months," meaning, I don't really want to make any effort to be friends with you because it's just too uncomfortable and awkward. And honestly, I probably wouldn't have blamed him for it- relationships, specifically girl-guy friendships, are crazy, hard work. But Josh didn't say this at all. It was God's grace. In fact, Josh was relieved, just like me, to know that we laid all our insecurities out on the table beforehand, and both realized what we were getting into. And despite that, we wanted to work on a team as friends, to glorify God and serve Him here in Thailand (communication really is key!). I can't tell you how thankful I felt to the Lord after that conversation. Is it still "awkward" around him? Sure! I'm a girl, and he's a guy, and there's bound to be many awkward moments- especially because we come from the opposite gender, different backgrounds, and different cultures in America. But I'm fighter, and I'm going to keep fighting for this friendship, and trusting and surrendering it daily to the Lord. Because I think this is something Satan has stripped the Body of Christ of, these healthy male-female friendships.

It's interesting, I don't think I ever heard about how to develop good friendships with guys as a teen. It's just not a topic discussed in the Christian community. I think immediately when you turn 14 or 15, the whole topic of dating unravels, and the whole purity, true love waits, and don't-have-sex-period spiel begins. That's great and all, but what about the rest of us that weren't ready to date, that felt left hanging, and wanted to be friends with the guys they played hide-and-seek with in elementary school. It's like all the guys became completely aware that I was a girl, and might be interested in them just because they were a guy.

I wish so badly for the teens of today to know how to protect each other's hearts and honor each other while also being able to remain friends. But the problem is, we don't really know how to protect our own hearts in the first place. If we don't know how to protect our own, then we won't know how to protect others, will we?

I won't give you a sermon on this, but I do request your prayers. Not only is this a problem in the States, but around the world, and in Thailand as well- this "protecting hearts" and "being friends with the opposite gender" type topics. I really think the answer is PRAYER. So, I ask for your prayers in regards to my friendship with Josh, and in regards to modeling a healthy girl-guy friendship to the Thai people. It's a definite issue, but our God is all about relationships because He's a relational God. Our number one relationship starts with Him, and when we ask Him, He is faithful to provide and gracious to supply us with all we need in our relationships with other humans. So please, as you pray, pray for healthy friendships, among the Thais, as well as among the missionaries.

Prayer Requests:
1. For the friendships among university students (I'll be working with these students in a month!)- for healthy girl/guy friendships
2. For my friendship with Josh and other single men I come in contact with- that we would model healthy, girl-guy friendships to the Thai's. I really think this is SO important in any culture.
3. For the youth in our own cultures- that we would educate them in Biblical friendships, and that they would learn to guard their hearts, protect each other's hearts, and honor one another in their friendships.

A Prayer Request

After talking with several people while here- it was recommended that I ask for prayer as I continue to seek the Lord and His plans, not only for Thailand, but for my life as well. I'll be honest that I feeling a little selfish by asking for prayer for my life, but I'm beginning to see the importance of this and ask out of humility. Please be praying that God would show me a ministry that He's created me for and that I have a passion for serving in.

Initially I came to Thailand wanting to do children and family camps, but there's not exactly a need for that here. So the search begins again for what I should look into doing.

Please pray that God would give me a solid sense of His plan and a future ministry He has created me to participate in. That He would make it clear and that things would begin to take shape (even if it's just very premature). And lastly, that He would give me a peace about it all. I'm really trying to make the most of my time here in Thailand. After I come back to the States, it'll be a little while until I make it back. While I'm here, I'd like to get a realistic picture of what ministry I could be a part of in the future, as well as know if there's something I need to get further training for back in the States, in order to serve better the people of Asia.

Many thanks for your continued prayers and support in this as we serve the Thai people together. You all have been such an encouragement to me! Blessings and love, Faith

French Fries and Inadequacies

Group of students at the Youth House in Lopburi

August to September I'll be helping with a ministry in Lopburi that works with youth/university age students. Some of those who come to this "youth house" are Christian, and some are not, but all are there to have a good time and build relationships. Recently, the students' new school term began (the schedule works a little different here than in the West), so there was a youth party at the youth house here in Lopburi, and a bunch of us were invited to come. I came praying, asking the Lord if this was really what I should be doing (youth ministry!?!), or if it was just an unrealistic thought I had a month ago.

When I first came in, I doubted. My thoughts were, "How little Thai I know! Maybe I shouldn't be doing this kind of ministry while I'm here? I'm going to fall flat on my face! And what on earth could I contribute?"

So I go and sit down with another Serve Asia short termer, and we smile with guarded confusion. As I sit there, I'm overwhelmed by my own inadequacies and by a desire to want to know the Thai students sitting around me, but not really being sure where to start, or if there's even a chance to start. So I sit, taking it all in, admittedly a little overwhelmed, while being thankful for the chance to be there and observe.

And then, it happens. An open door. One of the Thai girls, calls out across the room, "Faith!" and motions me to come over. So I do, with a courage not my own, but with the heart of someone who wants more than just to sit overwhelmed in the corner. So I come over, and she explains, "Some of these girls want to speak English with you. They're learning at University and would like to talk. They're just too shy to speak." I understand, so am I. But God just opened a door, and I'd be a fool to go back and sit down from where I just came from. So I squeeze myself into their little circle and eat a french fry off the plate they're sharing. And so begins our talk...for most of the night. We talked about everything from our university studies to the infamous topic of "boyfriends." And we laughed a LOT! Most of it at the confusion of my barely knowing any Thai, and their choppy English, but God knit together hearts right there on that floor between bites of french fry.

At one point during the night, one of the girls asks me, "So what are you good at?" And it got me thinking. Wow. Good question. I'm really good at being inadequate. At making a fool of myself. At being slower than most, and goofy when I shouldn't be. At being quiet when I should be talking, and at talking when I should be quiet. At not trusting God enough to know that He would answer my prayer to be sitting and chatting right there with all of them, like we had known each other for years. But I've learned that despite everything, I'm really good at being willing. I'm willing to be goofy, if it brings people in, makes them feel comfortable and lets them trust me even a little. I'm willing to try new things, and to walk across the room when I'm called. And I'm willing to follow God...especially because I know how inadequate I am.

So there was my answer for the night. Despite being really good at being inadequate, God wanted me there. Despite my doubts about being involved in this ministry in August and September, I'm willing to try new things, and God was willing to make up for my inadequacies. And I'm willing to stop doubting and give it all to the God who holds all of it in His hands. At the end of the night, one of the gals asks me, "Do you know how to bake?" "Yes! Sort of. I know how to bake chocolate chip cookies." But just mostly cookies (Does this ring a bell for those of you who have read the blog post about homeschooling? I like my cookies! haha). And she says, "Well, you'll teach the girls how to bake chocolate chip cookies then!" Alright! My first assignment in August. I'll let you know how it goes...it should be interesting and definitely blog-post worthy :)

Youth House and Ministry Prayer Requests:
1. Workers- Noon, Au, and Phil- continued prayer for each of them as they continue to reach out to students on campus; for open hearts and open doors
2. For the students that come to the "youth house"- that they would see a difference in Noon, Au, and Phil, and want the Jesus that shines through in their lives
3. My inadequacies- I would continue to seek God and rely on Him for the many things I'm just inadequate at doing; for my Thai that it would increase during the month of July, and that God would prepare me for this ministry in August

Catching Up: A Recap of June

June has been a crazy month. One of constant transitions. The last time I posted was in late May, and now it's already beginning of July. I wanted to give you all a recap of what took place this last month.

End of May, I took part in childcare at a missionary conference up in Chiang Mai, Thailand. It was wonderful, and exhausting at the same time. The kid's were exhausting. But I got some diaper practice in, and feel completely ready in case a baby army comes and needs their diapers changed (I just need lots of wipes!). The amazing part was serving on the childcare team with people from 9 other countries. I loved it! I think it's wonderful discovering the fact that I'm such a small part of the body of Christ, and I have so many brothers/sisters from around the world. Exciting! Their are pictures below of the team's of time together (I apologize, we aren't allowed to post any pictures from the actual conference because most of the missionaries at the conference are from Communist countries in Asia and the missionaries would be at risk if I showed pictures of themselves or their children).

After the conference, I headed back to Lopburi in Central Thailand to finish up homeschooling. There is a separate blog about this ("The Funny Moments of a Homeschool Teacher"). I'll definitely miss my time in Lopburi, but I'm also ready to move on and see more ministry in Thailand as I pray about coming back long term.  Please pray for the Mayer family as they eagerly await their next homeschool teacher, who will come from Canada in August. Pray for this new teacher, and that God would give her smooth transition to Lopburi life, and Thai culture. 

Then, end of June, I participated in a second missionary conference for missionaries specifically in Thailand. Again it was a wonderful time of serving, and again many dirty diapers (I wish there was a University degree out there called "Diaper Duty"- I would totally pass it!). Unfortunately I got sick at the end of this conference, but I think it's God way of slowing me down, and refocusing this time on Him again. Thankful for that reminder, and the ability to rest and refresh.

Currently, I'm in Nakhon Sawan, another city in Central Thailand, with two missionaries who are involved in student ministry. I'll get a chance to see some student ministry here, while also getting some time to just rest and get over my head-cold. I'll be here just a few days before heading back to Bangkok (the capital city of Thailand) to meet up with another short termer, L. L and I will then head to the northeast part of Thailand, called Isaan, to be involved in church-planting there. 

Prayer Requests:

1. For the missionaries at both conferences- that the Lord would continue to fill and refresh them as they go back to life in their respective countries; pray for strength and endurance as they love on the people around them

2. For the children of the missionaries as they head back "home" as well- for smooth transition, and for lasting friendships from the conferences

3. For the new homeschool teacher that's coming to the Mayer family in August.

4. Pray for the student ministry missionaries here in Thailand. For M and J as they serve in Nakhon Sawan and love the Thai students here.

5. For L and myself as we head to northeast Thailand to the "Isaan" area- I'm really excited to see all that the Lord is doing in this area; please pray we would be a huge help to the missionaries there

Part of our childcare team for the Chiang Mai Conference- Over 9 nationalities were represented! God is so good :)

Elephant Kisses- we got to explore an Elephant park while up in  Chiang Mai!

The Isaan area- in Northeast Thailand (a beautiful, rural part of Thailand!)

The Funny Moments of a Homeschool Teacher

I love the family I homeschool for. They're awesome (and I'm not just saying that because they might be reading this- I mean it!). The husband is German and the wife is Canadian, and their kids are just SO cool. Noah is 8 years old, Luke is 6 years old, and their little girl, Selah, is 1 year old.

I really think the Lord had complete grace on me when He sent me to this family. They've all become like my own family. We have similar senses of humor, goofiness, and a love to see the Thai people come to know Jesus.

When I first me Noah and Luke, they were painfully shy. It's just part of their personality, but when you get to know them, they're full of craziness and fun. Early on, I didn't really know how they felt, but they're mom really encouraged me and said it was a good fit for me to be with her boys. So in the beginning, while the boys were shy, I went ahead and just acted like my crazy self, saying crazy things, and doing crazy things to win them over. And the Lord worked it out- the boys took a liking to me...most likely because they probably thought this crazy person needed a friend!! :)

In the early weeks of homeschooling, each day (during the hot season- April and some of May) I would come to their house with a fully loaded water gun- as a homeschool teacher, you never know what you'll need- and I allowed them to drench me once or twice. I think that's a kid's dream- to drench their teacher (especially after all the schoolwork they're given). Not only have we had water fights, but we've created something we call the "sneak attack." Early on when I was trying to win them over, I told them that I was really good at sneak attacks (surprising them when they least expect it). And I've proven it. I even climbed over their gate once to surprise them with the water gun. I can only say that for the first month, their Thai neighbors must have thought I was a crazy foreigner.

Something awesome I found out about my boys is that they're totally into school (most of the time). Once, when the MK's (missionary kids) ate lunch together, my boys were telling the other kids why they should do extra work in school. That's right- perfect posterchildren for homeschooling. I was so proud! As they explained that after doing extra work you could do things outside, such as have water fights, all the rest of the boys' eyes began to glaze over- they weren't buying it. Finally, one of the other boys piped up, "Extra work? That doesn't even make any sense. Extra is just extra." (I laughed so hard!) But my boys didn't seem to mind. I told them they were still the coolest to me because we got to do so many "sneak attacks" and water fights after we did our "extra work".


Not only do my boys do extra work, but they're pretty healthy. They LOVE their fruits and veggies. We have snack time each day around 10:30am, and every day I offer the selection of fruits/veggies, crackers, or cookies. And every day they pick tomatoes with salt or chips, rather than cookies (who wouldn't pick cookies?!? Come on!). Finally, one day Noah (the 8 year old) says, "Why do you always offer cookies as a snack? That's not really a snack food." So, I said, "Well, I offer cookies because I know you guys like them." At which point, Luke (the 6 year old) turns to me and says, "Umm...no. You're the one addicted to cookies, not us!" I totally burst out laughing, and threw my hands in the air, acting as innocent as I could, but I knew I had been properly chastised for my cookie addiction. They're so healthy- their parents have raised them right. :)

I definitely have been blessed with the family I homeschool. They're wonderful, and there are so many other stories and beautiful memories I have from spending time with them. But as wonderful as it has been getting to know them, I also have never felt more inadequate. Every day, I have had to ask the Lord for grace when it comes to helping the boys. I'm not an amazing, do-it-all type of teacher. In fact, I saw several ways that I failed. But every time, the Lord has protected these boys, and kept me going for the next day. God's been so faithful to us all. I will miss them as I leave for the next part of my time in Thailand- churchplanting.

Prayer Requests:
1. For the parents language study in Lopburi- that the Lord would continue to provide smooth language acquisition (they will continue to study until next February)
2. For the Mayer family health- the wife has suffered several times from sickness; please pray for good health for all of them
3. For their next homeschool teacher that is set to come in August- please pray that she would come as soon as possible and that it would be a smooth transition for her and the boys
4. For the Mayers as they will eventually leave Lopburi and head on up to Chiang Mai- that the Lord will bless their obedience and guide them as they serve Him in north Thailand

MAYER FAMILY PHOTO COLLECTION

Oliver and Noah

Noah and Luke having a cool fruit drink.

Lounging Mayers' (Noah and Deborah)

This is why I love this family- they can cut a watermelon with a large cleaver, no questions asked! :)

Ninja Mayer (aka Luke)

Selah, Deborah, and Luke

Another reason I love this family- looking for bed sheets is a family affair and requires the careful consideration of every color (even the leopard print)- we're definitely related somehow!

Noah (I often found the boys holding one of these, filled with water, and joyfully waiting to drench me)

Selah Mayer, happy as can be! :)

A Reunion of Sorts

I feel blessed to be in Chiang Mai (north Thailand). I'm at a reunion of sorts. One where missionaries learn how to love and serve the people back in their respective countries. I'm not allowed to give out a ton of information about it. But I can tell you that many of these missionaries come from countries that are considered "closed" to the Gospel- countries that you could be imprisoned for your faith, where you can't get into without having a business or educational purpose.

And I just feel so blessed to be around so many amazing brothers and sisters in Christ. Who struggle but who also find worth in daily living for the Lord in these countries. And here I am, serving their kids through childcare on a team with 30 other people from around the world (countries such as Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Philippines, Germany, Switzerland, Canada, South Korea, and the US). And I'm humbled and loving it. 

My roommate is from Hong Kong, and it's interesting each day learning how to be sensitive to her and her culture. You wouldn't think it would be hard, but it is. As an American, we have such individualistic, strong opinions on everything- and most of the time we're wrong (we're so focused on ourselves and our country). I'm realizing my opinion doesn't really matter, because she's not American, nor does she think the same way I do. But it's strange- we've formed this bond. Like a sister-ship. We talk about what God is doing in our lives, the future and the past, and also things/ways we can share Christ with those around us. Though we have our ways that we're not alike, there are also ways that we are similar. And before I knew it, I realized how thankful I was for her, not only as a roommate, but as a friend, and sister in Christ.

That's what's so amazing about this missionary reunion. Meeting people from all around the world, all with the common passion and calling to serve the people of Asia and to bring the Gospel to these people. All together, God has called each of us (and their churches and supporters back home) to serve here. Amazing!

I'm reminded of this picture in Heaven:

"I saw a vast crowd, too great to count, from every nation and tribe and people and language, standing in front of the throne and before the Lamb. They were clothed in white robes and held palm branches in their hands. And they were shouting with a mighty shout, 'Salvation comes from our God who sits on the throne and from the Lamb (Rev. 7:9-10).'"

And I'm so thankful for this picture and for the hope of worshiping alongside these people from many nations, tribes, and languages, who are my brothers and sisters, and with whom I will stand next to in Heaven, worshiping our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. And my God moves my heart, and it wants to see more people, such as the Thai staff here at the conference center, who serve us each day in cleaning our rooms and making us food. I want to see these beautiful, smiling faces come to know the Jesus that loves them, and to find freedom in Him. And I know that when we come together in prayer, God answers in ways that we never thought were possible.

Prayer Requests: 

- For the missionaries at this reunion- that this would be a time of rest and being refreshed in God's Word; as they travel back to their ministry countries- that they would be refreshed to start back into sharing Him with their neighbors and the people they interact with on a daily basis
- For the MK's (Missionary kids) here- that they would have a good time; one where they make friends that would last a life time.
- For our Childcare Team- that God would give us strength for each day; some of our team members have been having bad dreams (please pray for restful nights of sleep); that we would love the children where they're at
- For the Thai staff at this Conference center (where we're staying)- that our actions would speak only of Jesus and that His love would shine through our actions and hearts (and that they would want to know more)

Thank you to each of you for praying and walking alongside me here in Thailand. We can rejoice in the peace of Christ and His continual workings around the world. Blessings and love, Faith

Changing Plans to Stay Longer in Thailand

I'm really excited to tell you all that plans have changed. I will be staying in Thailand a little longer than originally scheduled. A lot of prayer has gone into this, as well as a lot of asking questions and seeking after God. Rather than going to Taiwan as originally planned, I asked to stay longer in Thailand (therefore not going to Taiwan) in order to see more of the ministries here. So far, I've been homeschooling, and have gotten the chance to see two camps, but I'd like to see more. Because I'd like to go into missions long term, and I feel like I've only skimmed the surface of my time here, I can see that staying longer would help in deciding about long term missions.

So after I finish homeschooling in late June, I will participate in another missionary conference at the end of June and help with childcare. Then I will move on to Isaan (the Northeast part of Thailand- a more rural area) in July to see some pioneer-type church planting (starting from scratch in areas that have little to no churches). In August I will go to Lopburi, where I will have the opportunity to participate in student ministry until end of September. I'm excited about this part because I enjoy working with the youth back home, and would like to see how this joy might overlap with the youth here.

With this change, I am now learning Thai, and taking classes. This is an additional prayer request- that the Lord would give me a clear mind to learn Thai so that I can better glorify God here in Thailand, and form deeper relationships with the Thai's.

Please continue to be praying as we love on the Thai people together... now for a longer period of time :)

The Honest Reflections of a Struggling Missionary (Part 2)

Since coming to Thailand, it's become apparent that I just don't know that much about myself. I continue to be amazed about the things that I struggle with and my own character that I seem to fight against on a daily basis. I'm learning about the boundaries I need and the type of missionaries I "click" with, and the ones that I don't, and how to develop relationships with both.

I think mission trips have a way of revealing the hidden, ugly things we like to keep buried in our hearts. Like selfishness for instance. I'm always amazed at the way that ugly quality continues to show it's face at the most opportune moments.

I've struggled with transition here. I'm struggling with my unmet expectations here as far as doing what I thought I would come here to do, and doing what the Lord's assigned me for this short while. Homeschooling was never what I had in mind for 3 months, but it was what the Lord had in mind. Though I accept it, I still wrestle with it and the challenges it brings. And the fact that it brings out the scariest part of me- my selfishness.

Learning to working as a team, and accepting the things that I didn't plan for really turns my character inside-out so that all the smiles and masks wear away, and below you can see me, sitting there, shaking my fist, and wanting my way and being unsure of it all. And trying my best to roll with the punches, but being ready to give up at any second. Because truthfully, I'm frail and weak...and not as confident as I look. And I need something...someone greater to lean on and to trust in. Jesus.

"This isn't about you." I can't tell you how many times God has whispered that to my heart. And it hits me a like a ton of bricks. This never was about me. And I'm humbled. "Caring for other believers (Heb. 6:10)," and humbly obeying God and serving others are what I'm called to do right here, right now.

It always kicks me in the gut when I read in Philippians 2:3-4, "Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too." And it goes on to talk about the attitude Christ took while on earth, He "took the humble position of a servant" and "humbled himself in obedience to God." And what did God do? God lifted Him up (verse 9).

So here I am, re-learning that selfishness doesn't bring anything but more selfishness. And it's the seeking of humility and love for others on a daily basis that brings me more joy than I can ever imagine. And the often oh-so-hard part for an independent American such as myself. Learning to lean on Christ and trust Him for the strength and love when I don't feel I have anymore to give- that's the best part. He's the only well deep enough to withstand the droughts of life, while continuing to overflow. And I pray that His love would continue to overflow in my life and relationships with others.

The Honest Reflections of a Struggling Missionary (Part 1)

Two weeks ago, I caught a ride on a "Songtaew" (a pickup truck type transportation here in Thailand- include picture) and headed to the grocery store. It was only half full inside, but I wanted to hang on the back and just look up at the sky (don't worry Mom, there are bars that hold you in! haha). It was a beautiful day with a gorgeous, robin-egg colored sky and white wispy clouds floating over. As an older Thai woman beckoned me to come in I politely said thank you but pointed up (trying to show her I just wanted to look up and be there). I just needed to take it in and remember it. I needed to be and to do something unroutine and whimsical. I wanted to enjoy that 15 minute ride and thank the Lord for the little things, such as the older Thai woman inside or the wispy clouds over head. And to just breathe...slowly, taking it all in and turning it into praise.

Do you ever feel that way? You just need time to take a breath and just breathe in and out, and soak it all in. Because before you know it the little beautiful moments that make up life pass us by, and I look back and I can't remember. I'm a collector, a collector of all the stress and rush, but I forget to lay that "stress mess" at the feet of Jesus, to release those moments to Him.  And I forget to collect the beauty around me, and the moments with people. I forget to turn those beautiful moments into thankfulness and praise back to God. I remember the stress and the rush, but not the little things, those moments that make living for God and loving others so worthwhile, and breathtakingly satisfying.

So I looked up at the sky, and felt consumed with the craziness of my schedule here, and just wanting a peace to fill me and relief from being a collector of my busyness. Missions and ministry can be overwhelming at times, or most of the time...if you forget Who it all belongs to. If you forget Who you belong to.

So after coming back to my apartment, I sat down and just read the Word. And there it was. Waiting for me, the same thing King David went through in the Old Testament. And I can feel it wrapping itself around me.

"Praise the Lord; praise God our Savior! For each day he carries us in His arms." Wow. All it took was a Psalm (68:19) to remind me who carries me. Who is behind my strength for the day. And who keeps me going when I can not. Praise the Lord :)

I hope and pray this encourages you as well, to take moments to breathe, and just sit and be still before God. And to remember Who it is that carries you. And to be okay with being carried on the days that you don't have the strength, and even on the days that you do.

What Happened to all the Candy and Stickers?

Just wanted to let you all know that the candy and stickers some of you sent with me has been used for the kids camps! And...there is still some left that I'm hoping to give to a camp coming up in June. Thank you all for your love in sending those goodies over. The kids were told that they were sent from people in the USA as a treat.

At the camp, the candy was used for treats/prizes while the stickers were used for arts and crafts. The pictures below show just how big of a hit the arts and crafts were. Thai's are so creative with crafts! The one girl asked me to help her, but I wasn't sure that I was much of a help! They all did so well :) Please be praying for the little hands that made these crafts and that God would use them to be the hands of Jesus as they learn to love and serve others.

The Tough Topic of Thailand

Warning: Please make sure you read this before your children do- deciding then if they should or not. The topic in this is a tough one. Also, I am writing from the worldview that God is the Creator, and the Bible is my Authority because I am a Christ-follower. So the ideas and opinions in this are from a Biblical perspective. As most all of my posts are based around my relationship with God and His Word. Just a friendly reminder :)

SO... "sex" is big in Thailand. The selling of it, the buying of it, the exploiting of it. Everything that sex was not made for, you can see it here. Satan has twisted sex into a thing that man can use for his own purposes, rather than something made to show the intimate and committed union between a husband and wife. And sex IS a beautiful thing, when it is used for the purpose that God created it for. But when used for other purposes, it becomes a chain of iron that chokes and controls its users.

So why am I talking about sex? Because sex and sexual orientation was the topic at the youth camp I went to (the youth at this camp were ages 14-25ish). And after arriving I found out why such an "uncomfortable" but popular subject is discussed with kids as young as 14. Because it's popular, but abused here and has become an issue. STD's are so common, being gay/lesbian is widely accepted, and the thing that surprised me the most is how readily available and easy it is to get a sex change here.

It starts as the kids are growing up- they're labeled. So if a girl does more boyish things, or a boy does more girly things, then parents or friends will say, "hmm, they should get their gender changed as soon as possible." And this happens even when the children are as young as 3! Not ALL people do this here, but it's still widely accepted that sex changes are a part of life for some people. While not all get sex changes, there are still youth who believe that they are truly the opposite gender on the inside (boys thinking they are truly girls, and girls thinking they are truly boys). So they will either act and/or dress like the opposite gender, as well as refer to themselves as a guy if they are a girl, or a girl if they are a guy.

Then there's the common problem of men having feelings for other men, and women having feelings for other women. They have no guidelines for relationships- just their media and in their media anything goes. Sounds a little like, America, right? Yes, but worse. See we've had the Bible and Christian influence in our laws and history. Thailand, has not. Since they were never colonized by a "Chrisitan" nation, the Bible and God's values have been brought in much later. But the Bible's principles are foreign to them. And so they look to their media to dictate their values.

I'd like to tell you all a story about a young man who I met at youth camp, and I'll call him "Jeremy". Jeremy is about my age, and I had the chance to chat with him through the kindness of a translator. His story goes like this. Jeremy and a couple of his friends started dressing like girls at 15 years of age. Inside they felt they were truly women, and they had romantic feelings for guys as well. And he grew up believing that because he was more feminine, he was actually a woman. So they wore girls clothes ("mini-skirts," he told me in order to be the extreme), make-up, high heels, and started taking hormones in order to develop curves and breasts. And it worked. They acted female and were accepted as female. But Jeremy told me that He never felt accepted. I think the truth is that he never fully accepted it himself being female, and still felt male. He was confused.

And then Jeremy came to accept Christ as Lord and Savior of his life. I don't know the specifics on this, but I think it may have been at a Christian camp his friend invited him to. After coming to know Christ, he said he didn't feel right about dressing and acting like a woman anymore. So he stopped taking the hormones, and began dressing like a man again. And here he is 9 years later after first dressing as a woman, and said he still struggles with feeling like a woman sometimes, and having feelings for other men. But then, he also doesn't feel right acting like a woman anymore.

One of the first questions he asked me after we sat down was, "What do you see when you look at me?" I thought for a moment and responded that I don't feel uncomfortable around him (though I could tell he was uncomfortable around me, unsure of why I was chatting with him). I said that I could see he was a kind-hearted person and I wanted to know more about him. Then I asked him the question, "What do you think God sees when He looks at you?" This honestly stumped him. At first he responded with what he thought everyone else says about him, but I wanted to know what he thought Jesus sees when Jesus looks at him. And then I told him, "In the Bible it says that God says you are wonderfully made, every part of you, just the way you were born. He doesn't make mistakes when he creates someone. He has purposes for them the way He created them. When Jesus looks at you, He loves you, completely." Psalm 139 says it all about God's love for each of us as a beautiful part of His creation. I think this was a lot for Jeremy to take in. In a culture that says it's okay to change if you feel like it, accepting who you are as a beautiful creation of God is so foreign to him. We talked a little more about life, what he does now, and how he wants his friends to come to know Jesus. He loves Jesus and feels peace in his life that he never felt before, even though he still struggles with feelings towards men. He feels conflicted, but says God always gives him the strength he needs for each day.

So this is the situation in Thailand among the youth. Jeremy's story is not an uncommon one. Jeremy never took the next step to get plastic surgery to change his gender. But many youths are doing so now, and it's only going to get worse in a country where it's so easy to. I've heard it called the "generation of the sex change". But the question amongst Christians here is what will happen to those who have changed their sex, but then come to know Christ? How will the Church come along side and help them? How will they love them? These questions aren't easily answered.

But Jeremy's story went straight to my heart. I don't struggle with feelings for other women, or with feeling like a man. But I have my own struggles, my own temptations. And these temptations and the sin that results when I give in should never be considered "less of a sin" than Jeremy's struggles and sins. Just because you can't always see the sin that blackens my heart, those "hidden sins", doesn't mean it's not as deadly as the sin that we can see so physically manifested in this culture. All sin is hideous to God. I repeat all sin. And all sin is in need of God's precious grace and mercy that He gives through Christ. Jeremy and I both have Jesus, who helps us in our struggles, and who offers out forgiveness freely and wants to reconcile us back, and give us peace and satisfaction in Him alone. But what about the millions of other youth in this country searching for not just a sex change, but identity and meaning in life? Will you pray with me for the youth in Thailand?

Prayer Requests:
1. For this "generation of the sex change"- that they would want change, but the kind that deals with the heart
2. For mentors- that godly men/women in Thailand would mentor the youth and hold each other accountable (it's a privilege we share as part of the body of Christ to lean on one another- Galatians 6:2)
3. For Jeremy and his friends at the camp- for continued daily strength and seeking Christ for Jeremy; and for his friends who came that are not Christians (that they would see and want the peace Jeremy has)
4. For Thai Christians that they would see this problem and not be afraid to reach out and love those that are  going through different struggles and temptations than they are
5. For Thai Christians that might struggle with one of these temptations- feelings for the same gender, or men feeling like women, and women feeling like men- that they would seek God to change their heart and love Christ more deeply- and that after going through this would seek to pray for/help others who may struggle with the same temptations

I was reading in Jude at camp, and found this verse to be such an encouragement (verses 23-24): "Show mercy still to others, but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives [notice it says to hate the sin, not the person]." And I love how verse 24 completes this, "Now all glory to God who is able to keep you from falling away and who will bring you with great joy into His glorious presence." So, the glory goes to God, and it's His joy to hold and keep us from falling away and to usher us into His presence. I'm thankful that all strength and ability to fight against sin, to conquer the thoughts that enslave us, and to choose daily to follow Christ, rest in one man alone, Jesus. What a wonderful Savior we have. I pray the Thai youth can come to know this Savior and accept His help to daily live a life that pleases Him on earth, and to then be brought into Heaven with great joy by the one who loves and holds them in His hands.

Please continue to pray with me as we serve these beautiful Thai people together. Many thanks and love to you all :)

First and second picture are of the youth praying for each other at the camp-  this night they prayed that they would be able to live as examples of purity at home and that God would continue to be their strength as they fight to live each day pleasing to Him in a culture that makes it hard.

The "Shocking" Part of a Culture

Fairly recently, I received an email from a friend that said I must have not gone through culture shock while here, since I haven't really talked about it. Please let me set the record straight. I'll be the first to tell you that, yes, I have indeed gone through culture shock while here. Please don't think that I'm some super woman or crazy "Wonder-Woman" type missionary. The truth is I'm human. And I'm dealing with certain things here that I still shake my head at, but that I constantly have to tell myself, "It's not bad, it's just different."

So let me be honest with you and tell you what my heart has seen and my mind has thought, but what my mouth has not complained about yet. But oh yes, I have complained it all in my head :)

1. The heat: I'm from Pennsylvania. I love the seasons, especially the cooler seasons...like snow. And here, there's about as much chance of snow as there is for me to see a flying monkey. Actually, it's probably more likely that I would see a flying monkey around here.
2. How they line up or lack of: so you know how we line up...like in a line at the grocery store or waiting to pay for our gas inside the gas station. Well they don't line up here. So for the first couple weeks, people kept butting in front of me! It drove me crazy. I felt like saying "excuse me" but I didn't know how to say that in Thai. And it's probably good because lining up isn't a rule here and it really isn't rude to "not" line up. So now I make it my goal to get as close to the person in front of me as possible...without letting them smell my "foreign-ish-ness" smell ;)
3. It bothers me that Thai's can read the faces of foreigners so well. They say the "western" face is the easiest to read, so as I'm going through smelling different things and learning different things, I also have to make sure I don't give too much away too much with my face. And that's like impossible for me because I can be so dramatic, especially when I'm going in through culture shock in a new culture! In addition to this, it bothers me that I can't read their facial expressions at all. But I'm praying God brings me wisdom with that in time.
4. It bothers me that I "smell" to them: Yes, foreigners smell to them. I smell to them...I'm just smelly. And I pride myself on being clean and having good hygiene. But they've got amazing noses here. So when my feet get dirty or I've sweated a couple buckets of water, I'm thinking...I must smell like a toilet to them.
5. It bothers me that there are ants that crawl into every piece of the food I buy. Literally (unless it's in the refrigerator) there will be an ant in your food within 5 minutes or less. They're everywhere.
6. It bothers me that I'm always being bitten by mosquitoes: And I always end each day with about 5 new mosquito bites. I'm beginning to question if I'm the only food source for the mosquitoes here in Thailand.
7. The Where Do I Find Clothing My Size Problem: Where is the "Girls with Hips" clothing store? I mean, come on, I'm an American who eats well, loves chocolate, doesn't skip meals, and did I mention who loves chocolate ? I've got me some hips...and a butt (we don't need to emphasize that though). So as my 4 pairs of capris wear out, I'm thinking...I might need to find some new capris around here. But all the capris I find here make it about halfway up my calf. Perhaps I should try men's shorts? Or a paper bag?

BUT, I LOVE...
1. I love that there's air conditioning here to enjoy (that's one thing I've never been thankful for, but I am now). And I love the breezes that sweep in and cool me off when it's hot as it is now.
2. I love watching Thai people interact with each other and I love their outrageously funny laughs and great senses of humor.
3. I love that when you look into the eyes of a Thai person, you see something deeper. Even though I can't read them, I can see that there's something more that I'm missing. And I just want to get to know them and see what they see.
4. I love how Thai people smell! They smell so good. It's always a mix of fruit, flowers, and baby powder. It's wonderful, and I love it.
5. While I don't love anything about the ants, I love that I've learned not to waste the food I buy. I've learned to guard all food with a vengeance. And did you know that in some countries, next to the toilet is a little squirter (to, you know, "hose" off after you go to the bathroom). Guess what I use that for...that's right...ant target practice :) It's very effective!
6. I love that there are geckos here to eat the mosquitoes. I consider them my other "roommates".
7. I love that Thai people have a unique sense of style. So that when the capris don't fit, there are a ton of other options to try out. Perhaps it's time for me to start rocking the skirt.

So yes, I have gone through culture shock, and there are a ton of other little things that have grated on my nerves after a while, but there are also a ton of things to love about this amazing country and the people in it. And God is good at taking off the blinders of my own culture and helping me to appreciate the diversity of another. Praise the Lord for that :)

This guy, whom I've named DG (Darn Gecko), is a Tokay Gecko. They're beautiful and they're nocturnal so this guy loves to come out at night and croak as I'm about to fall sleep :)  

Loving the Thai People

Since I've been in Thailand, God has given me just an overwhelming love for the people here. The more I am around Thai people, the more I want to be around them. And I thought I might just share just a few reasons why I love the Thai people, and perhaps even give you a love for them as well.

Their smell: I know, many of you are like, "Really, Faith? You're such a creeper." But the truth is Thai's smell really good. Most Thai's love to smell good and keep clean because it's just so hot here. Interestingly enough, it is the commonly held belief here in Thailand that foreigners smell "weird." So, for the first time in my life, I've embraced the Thai remedy for always smelling good- baby powder. They have a full aisle of this stuff in their stores. And in all different brands and smells. I love it! But watch out for the ones with menthol- those burn!

Their smiles: When the people smile here, they really smile! Teeth (or lack of) and all! I love that :) When Thai's smile, it warms my heart. And I can't help but smile in return :)

Their laughter: I love to have a good laugh, and Thai's have big laughs. It always seems like there's something to laugh about with them, even when there's a language barrier. But it's helped me be able to laugh at myself and to find the day to day humorous moments.

Their beauty: The Thai people think Westerners are beautiful because of our white skin (And in fact there are a ton of "whitening" products for skin here. I actually have to be careful I don't buy them, so that when I come back you aren't blinded by my neon-ness. And I already know what you are thinking- could I possibly get any whiter? Yes, the impossible is possible). So after being told that I'm beautiful, I have had to tell so many Thai's that I think they are the beautiful ones. I love their smiling eyes, beautiful grins, caramel skin, and most of all, their kind hearts. They are beautiful to me.

I am daily finding more things to love about these amazing people and the land they love.
Pray with me for the Thai's and for the God that wants them to know Him.
Prayer Requests:
1. For the smell- that they wouldn't smell my "foreign-ish-ness" but the scent of Jesus on me and want His presence and transforming power in their lives (2 Corinthians 2:15- being the sweet aroma of Christ to the world)
2. For their smiles- that when they smile, it would be with the joy of knowing the Creator that calls them by name (Isaiah 43:7)
3. For their laugh- that when they laugh, it would be from knowing that they are completely loved by Jesus and nothing can separate them from that (Rom. 8:38-39)
4. For their desire to be beautiful- that they would find the God who made them and created each of them beautifully from His own image (Gen. 1:27)

Thank you for praying with me for these beautiful people!

A little boy and his daddy at one of the churches in Central Thailand.

The Street Cleaner and the Floral Shirt

The past couple of days (April 13th-15th) have been Thai new year here (also known as "Songkran"). It's been so fun to see how they celebrate this holiday- with chalk and water! They bring out water hoses, water guns, water buckets, and chalk and either drive around or sit on their "front porch" and wait for their victims. But the main goal is to wish people Happy Thai New Year by wiping a chalk paste on their face and then drenching them with water. My thoughts on this holiday? It's awesome!! And of course, Thai's are more than willing to soak a white-faced Westerner with as much water as they can find :) So, I always come out soaked, and have found that they somehow manage to not only get the chalk on my face, but on my neck, in my ears, and in my hair as well! :)

So I prefaced this post with telling you about Songkran, so that I can tell you a story. During new year, people wear these floral/crazy print shirts that they sell everywhere. They're awesome! Basically they look like those "unfashionable" Hawaiian floral print shirts that you sometimes see people wearing in the States. But here, they totally rock these shirts! And I love it! So one of my goals last week was to find the perfect floral print shirt to wear around. And so I scoured the streets with another missionary and a local Thai woman. And finally I found the shirt I wanted...but it was on someone else, a local street cleaner. So my first thought was, "Do you think if I gave her 200 baht, she'd let me have it?" Usually shirts here are about 150-180 baht (about $5-$6 US dollars). haha, I really wanted that shirt! As I joked about it, we came to a shop, and I became super-focused as I searched in order to find this shirt, and I did!!! The only one in my size! 

After I got the shirt, I was so happy, that I wanted to share this with the street cleaner wearing the same shirt. The local Thai woman that was with us began to tell the street cleaner how the moment I saw her wearing the shirt, I loved it, and joked about offering her 200 baht for it. The street cleaner didn't seem too impressed but of course I didn't know what they were saying to each other. So I opened up my bag and showed her the shirt, and she looked surprised, then smiled, but then brushed it off and quietly walked away. At first I thought, "Tough crowd. I thought she might at least get a laugh out of a foreigner desiring her floral print shirt!" haha! So I asked the Thai woman with us about it, and she said she wasn't brushing us off, but was surprised that we were even talking to her! 

The social class system in Thailand is still very much alive. Being a street cleaner is considered a dirty job as well as one that puts you out in the sun and makes you darker (Thai's think being whiter means you're higher class). This woman was lower class, and here a foreigner was totally tearing down all the walls and boundaries that made us different, so that I could share in the fact that we now had the same shirt! I wanted to go back and just love on her. To show her that she has value in Christ, and that He sees no "social class" but only hearts, and He wants her heart. 

More than anything, I wish I had gotten a picture with her, although I'm not sure she would have allowed me to. But I, we, can still pray for her. And so I ask that you would pray for her, and for all those wearing these crazy floral shirts, celebrating a new year, but really aching inside for new life. Pray for those in all social classes that they would hunger for new life in this new year. 

When I think of this beautiful street cleaner with her wacky floral shirt, I think of 2 Corinthians 5:17 which says, "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun." May this be our prayer for the people of Thailand this week.  

A lovely Thai woman from Singburi

Watch and feel free to laugh at some Songkran fun :)